Remembering Jeff

I wanted to write about Jeff for a little bit, but every time I thought about writing about him it just didn't seem like the right time.  However, today, being September 11th, I think it is the right time (if there is ever a right time to write about him) as I think you'll understand why I chose this day to share Jeff with you all.

Jeff was a casualty of September 11th.  He wasn't in one of the ill-fated planes that day or in either Twin Tower or the Pentagon.  In fact, he wasn't even on the East Coast or surrounding area on September 11, 2001.  He was in the Phoenix, Arizona area.  I'm not sure he was even working that day, but he soon would be working and soon would be traveling to New York City.

Jeff was a fireman/EMS/first responder in our area.  He also trained for and was on the Search and Rescue team, so when the call came out for search and rescue teams to come and aid in the search, etc after September 11th, Jeff and his team took up the call and traveled to New York City to assist as they could.

I'm not sure how long Jeff was in New York City and what exactly their part was in the search and rescue or recovery or whatever, but he was there long enough to be exposed to the dust and the toxic fumes that were there at Ground Zero and long enough to develop heart and lung problems because of his work there.

It didn't take long afterwards for him to start having those heart and lung problems that would eventually lead to him having to retire, medically disabled, from being a firefighter/EMS/first responder here.  

I don't know much about the years between 2001 and 2021 with what Jeff was doing, how he was feeling, how affected his heart and lungs had been.  I came to "know" him shortly after he started working at the restaurant where my son is a chef.  Jeff had a passion for cooking.  He also wanted to be productive as much as he could. My son mentioned Jeff when Jeff started working there, telling us Jeff's story, including his involvement at Ground Zero and what it had done to his health.  

Over the time that Jeff worked at the restaurant, son would share more about Jeff, his ongoing health issues, things going on in his personal life, etc.  Jeff had been in a long-term relationship that had ended and was having trouble coping with it.  Son and him bonded as friends and son spent a lot of time with Jeff, just hanging out together when they could after work, etc.  Jeff also made an effort to go to church and had dedicated his life to Jesus.  Week after week Jeff would invite son to go to church with him.  Son would say sometime he would go, but it never came to be.

Jeff got Covid and got really sick from it and was in the hospital for about a month, but he recovered.  He also had to miss a lot of work because of his heart and lung problems and he always worried that Chef would fire him because of his inability to work a consistent schedule.  But when Jeff was there, he worked as hard as he could with what he had to work with and his job was always secure.

The beginning of April 2022 Jeff had a heart attack.  He was itching to go back to work as soon as he could be released from his doctor.  He did eventually make it back to work.  I never met Jeff but early May I invited over a waiter from the restaurant and his girlfriend to lunch at son's house   The waiter was so personable, from Italy, had left San Diego to move to Phoenix because of a woman he had met on vacation down in Mexico.  Their story mimicked son and DIL's story in that son had moved to Phoenix from San Diego to be with her when she moved to be closer to her mom.  The waiter had taken great care of us at the restaurant that I just had to invite him over for lunch.  It was easier to have the event at son's house so we brought the food, son cooked for us, and we enjoyed a wonderful afternoon together.  Jeff was supposed to come too but he got delayed at his dad's house.  Jeff had a motorcycle that he would often drive up on the weekends to his dad's who lived in a mountain town 2 hours north of Phoenix.

A few weeks later, on a Thursday evening our son called us.  You have to know that son never calls us unless he is in trouble, needs money or now having a problem with something in the rental house of ours that he and his family live in.  It is not that he doesn't want to talk to us, he just texts occasionally and we see him a few times a month for meals together.  We have a mantra "no news is good news" when we don't hear from him.  So when he called, right as we were sitting down to eat dinner, we were on alert.  What is wrong now went through my head along with how much is this going to cost us.  We did the usual greetings, hi, how are you, etc.  And then he says "Do you remember Jeff?" The minute he said that, I knew.  I just didn't know the rest of the story.

Jeff had passed away that day.  What I gather is the preceding weekend he had been up visiting his dad.  Jeff had one of those defbrillator things implanted in his chest to help control his heart rhythm.  It would shock him at times.  Apparently this shock on that particular day was a pretty intense one and it made Jeff lose his balance.  He fell, hitting his head, losing consciousness.  Obviously, he was transported to a hospital.  I surmise, but am not 100% sure, that he might have had a brain bleed or similar as a result of his fall (being on blood thinners) and there might have been some type of irreversible damage and he was eventually taken off of life support.  

Jeff had signed up to be an organ donor.  Obviously, his heart and lungs would be of no "value" but his kidneys and liver were and those were donated.  

Son relayed what had happened.  Of course he was devastated and sad.  It was also the first time he had to talk about death to his son (our grandson).  Our grandson knew Jeff and had spent time with him.  They said a prayer for Jeff.  

Curious as I am, I "had" to find out more about Jeff so I looked him up on Facebook.  That was the first time I saw a picture of him and he looked different than I had pictured him to look.  He had written this back in October 2021 about his experience of working at the restaurant:

In April I applied for a job at (name of restaurant) and Chef hired me that first day. I was upfront about being sick, but I was dying faster just sitting on the couch or doing nothing, and going back to work, even for a few hours was what I needed.

Since April, I’ve been in the hospital several times, got COVID, and have gone home early because I was struggling to catch my breath.

In the restaurant world, calling in sick isn’t a solid career move and I was sure after the days I’d missed they’d have to find someone who wouldn’t be gone, or miss time like I had. I had genuine concern they were going to cut me loose, and I’d found a place I really enjoyed, even if it turned out to be a few hours a week. I was wrong. They. Didn’t. Flinch. One. Time. Not. Once.

Since day one everyone has treated me like family. Chef's wife, one of the owners, checked on me every day. My coworkers did the same. (Son and another chef) were simply amazing.

I spent years in a job where brotherhood was the cornerstone of the bond we had. It doesn’t hold a candle to where I am now.

I say all of this so you know what they’ve done for me. What they continue to do for me. I wasn’t going to post this but I think it’s important for you all to know.

If you can, please support the restaurant as much as they’ve supported me. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

I cried when I read it. (I put the name of the restaurant in parentheses as well as the name of son and the other coworker; the original Facebook message had both the name of the restaurant and son/coworker's names in it but for privacy chose to do it this way).

I cried more a few days later when this was posted on the restaurant's Facebook page (written by Chef's wife):

How does one put into words the loss of a dear friend and very special cook we all came to love? Jeff had been a First Responder here in AZ when his team got the call to help find lost souls on 9/11. They went. After a grueling two weeks, Jeff and team came home. Not soon after, Jeff began his illness after being exposed to the highly hazardous materials from the site. He came to work with us over one year ago to regain his love of the culinary arts. He could not have been a happier man doing what he loved most with Chef and his incredible team. We loved him at first sight. Always a smile and eagerness to learn and be part of the magic.

Troubles hit paradise shortly after coming to work for us when the illness of his heart began to spiral. We’ve lost count as the many times we had to call 911 to have him sped to the emergency room. As we awaited news, he wrote “So sorry and apologies to everyone.” Really Jeff??? All we wanted to know was if he was recuperating; and he was! So back to his beloved dream job. Every time. His last episode was the one he never came back from. May you fly with the angels dear Jeff and know your beautiful energy and vibrations will be with us forever. We will miss you to eternity.

I asked son a week or so after Jeff had passed how it was going in the restaurant. He said it was tough not to see Jeff in the kitchen working alongside him and to know Jeff would not be working alongside him again. He said one thing Jeff always did, before the start of service, was to show Chef the crazy socks he wore (he had quite a collection of them). Chef would always shake his head but always with a smile on his face.

I never met Jeff, but I will always remember Jeff. Thank you Jeff for your service to our country in a time when it was needed.

Jeff leaves behind a 21 year old son, parents, a brother, numerous relatives and a boat (another story for another day).