Jesus

I have been meaning to share my testimony (story) about how I came to have faith in Jesus and a personal relationship with Him.  

I was raised in a Catholic home.  We were practicing Catholics in that we went to church every week, confession when needed, observed no meat on Fridays during Lent, etc.  I went to a Catholic school up until the 9th grade. I knew who Jesus was but I didn't KNOW Him if that made sense.  Basically, I knew He was the Son of God and that He died for our sins and rose from the dead but that's about it.  

I chose to pursue a different course of church going after I got married for a variety of reasons but probably the main one was we wanted to agree on a church that we both felt comfortable with in the teachings and preachings and we knew we wanted to make going to church a priority for not only us but any children we might have down the road.  

We pretty much continued to go to church weekly throughout our marriage and young years of raising children and I would pray occasionally, mostly when I was in "trouble" about something and I wanted a "genie" to fix that trouble for me.  I rarely (never) read the Bible.  Again, I knew Jesus but I didn't KNOW Jesus.  When we lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico we had a terrible time finding a church that did not incorporate New Age into its services or mysticism so for that brief period of time (2 years) our church attendance was sporadic.  

Then we moved to Billings, Montana and one of our selling points for Billings (despite its wonderful weather) was we were going to find a church and we were going to get involved with it and make sure our children had the opportunity to learn who Jesus was for themselves and make their own commitment of faith.  I had made a commitment of faith to Jesus in my high school years but I'm not sure if I was going along with the crowd or really had a faith in Him at that time.

We found a great church in Billings and got involved with it, attending weekly, volunteering, kids going to the youth services, etc.  One Sunday, the associate pastor was talking about a situation he and his wife were going through.  She was a teacher and had not signed a contract yet for the upcoming school year.  He was panicking for her to do so for financial reasons but she was holding out for a job she thought God wanted her to have.  He related her prayers and what she felt God was saying to her and she remained steadfast not to commit to any job but the job she felt she was being led to have.  Literally the day before the school year began she got that job.  During this whole time while she was waiting for what she believed God wanted her to do, she was at peace, though her husband was stressing out wondering how they would manage if she didn't get a teaching job for that year.  In relating how his wife was interacting with God, something piqued my interest and I was like "I want that kind of relationship with Him."  

I knew to KNOW Jesus I had to spend time with Him.  So daily I would pray, read my Bible, started attending Bible study at church and would really think about what the Bible was saying.  I memorized scripture that I would call back up if I was having difficulty with this or that.

I started growing closer to Jesus and started having more faith in Him and more belief that He truly was who He said He was and that He truly would take care of me.  Now I have to tell you during this time my 2 kids were teenagers and they were "troubled teens."  My daughter was depressed, suicidal, psychotic, in and out of the "psych ward" at the local hospital, in residential treatment for 7 months.  I really never knew if she was going to attempt to take her life (that's another story for another day; she is alive to this day but.....).  It was very stressful dealing with those situations.  And then my son was involved in some trouble he had gotten into which was very stressful.  Yet praying and reading my Bible did give me less anxiety and worry and more peace (not completely gone but less so anxiety and worry)  and I was starting to trust in Him more.  Incredible answers to prayer were happening during this time too.  

From then on I just came to know and love Jesus so much more for who He is and what He did for me by giving His life for me and my sins and opening up heaven and eternal life for me.  

I realize everyone has to come to their own faith in whatever they choose to have faith in and can also choose not to have any faith.  

For me, I have faith in Jesus.  One thing I know about Him and I have mentioned it so many times.  He has never let me down and I know He will never let me down.  Even in the midst of the hardest of times (and there were LOTS of hard times) He has sustained me and guided me, protected and provided for me.  I've also said this many times.  I cannot do life without Jesus and I will not do life without Jesus.

He has restored a marriage (not ours but someone close to us).  He has kept my children alive (where basically honestly the things my son had done he should have been dead or in prison, but here he is 33 years old, a husband, a father and a successful cook).  And He has done so much more for me and my family every single minute of every single day.  It is a joy to walk with Him on a daily basis.  

I love reading my Bible and I love going to church to learn more about Him.  I will admit I've grown rusty on memorizing scripture but I do continue to work on it off and on.  

None of things that have happened in my life were a result of coincidence or luck.  I truly believe they were all God ordained and I give Him all the glory and honor.  

And I will continue to trust in Jesus every single day.  Even if sometimes it doesn't make sense because I know He knows what is best and that is good enough for me.